5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
