I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
