dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
