I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i barfeds in our rink
barbara walters just said penis...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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