yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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