so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize