Kiss
Puke
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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