I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
