I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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