A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize