yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
