Buhtt sex?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
