lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
