So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
