Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
