got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
