Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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