I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
