how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
