Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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