We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
