Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
