Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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