We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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