I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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