chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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