Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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