i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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