This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
