Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
