he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
