Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
