I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
