So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
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i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
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I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize