David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
