Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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