Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I will be naked everywhere
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
