margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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