this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
