Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
