Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
