the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
