i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
