I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
