What did we do last night that was yellow?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
