Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Houston, we have a blender
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
