I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
