I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
In America we eat man semen.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
