Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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