Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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