Dual....:-)
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
