He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
