Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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