If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
