You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
