Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
