u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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