I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
