'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The Olympian is in my bed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
