I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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