I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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